his name was patrick

the other night a former student of mine invited me to a candle light for the anniversary of his brother's death. as you may or may not know i teach 3 to 5 year olds so this story is all the more tragic. my former student was five and his brother nearly a year old when he passed away. needless to say i was already close to this family, but after this tragedy took place i would become a little closer.

a year ago, i got the news from the head of school in the early evening. she told me simply that patrick had passed away and that the family was going to need a lot of support. i was in shock because the baby was in my class that day. he was crawling around full of energy, full of life. by that afternoon he had died. it was said that SIDS was the cause, and i cannot see how that reason could give any parent understanding. sudden infant death syndrome. that is just an acronym, not a cause of death...

regardless the family had an incredible year trying to move on, trying to wake up, trying to put one shoe on at a time, trying to put their clothes on and get going with a day that no one else in their lives would experience. constant reminders through out the house in toys, clothes, spaces, and pictures. patrick was only on the planet for a short time, but his impact was immense.

it is said that one of the greatest tragedies for a parent is to see their child die. i believe it. the following days afterward, patrick's father would make his way over to the school, exhausted from lack of sleep and overwrought with emotion. he would come over and sign his son (my student at the time) in and out. just getting back to a routine. trying to keep some part of his life consistent.

both parents were incredible through this whole situation. they did everything they could to make sure their five year old was going to make it through all of this. michael was a bright student and emotionally was very aware of his surroundings. which i think helped him cope better with his brother's death.

the vigil was beautiful, a small tree was planted in the front yard and several candles were placed around the young trunk. about twenty people from around the neighborhood attended, and each talked about the young boy known as patrick. some spoke about the parents, and others commented on the support of the neighborhood. which i think is the big picture of this event.

columbia over the past ten years has torn up huge segments of earth to make way for upscale homes and shopping centers. these new developments may attract families, but they won't attract entire neighborhoods like the one on Anderson Ave. (where patrick's family resides). this neighborhood pulled together and helped out the family. brought dinner over, bought clothes for the family for the funeral, mowed the lawn, took michael out, and provided a solid foundation for support.

this family would not have healed over this past year without those people, and the vigil was there way of saying thank you. it really makes you take a step back from your own life and realize what is important, what is necessary, and in the grand scheme of things how small we really are...