My last day as a 30 year old

So a long time ago, I played the role of evil oldest brother. Mind you I was never one to punch or hit my brothers or sister (they were all taller than me by the time i reached the six year old mark) . In fact we didn't do much punching of any kind, we all had this unwritten rule of no punches to the face. So I would like to drop psychological "punches" on them.

One of these involved going into my brother's room around bed time the day before his birthday and telling him "Well. Say good bye to be 8 years old. That's right you will never be 8 again. Yep that's real sad." When my brother realized that he would be turning 9 and losing that title of 8 years old, it made him cry. I would return to my room with a chuckle, and part of his birthday was ruined because I decided to bring reality to his day of days. Yes I was (and most still consider me to be) an asshole.

Now the tables have turned. I'm 30 heading into the 31, and I am going through these thoughts of holy shit! i'm not going to be 30 anymore. I really want to be that person who ages with grace and confidence, but right now i'm in this mode where i look back and say what the fuck have i done? i know that all of my work over the past seven years has been a building process for long term sustainability. so at this point i have all of this "potential" but nothing concrete. and now i can hear my brothers and sister collectively saying:

"well billy, say goodbye to 30! you will never be 30 again! yep, that's real sad!"

so i'm going to try and make this next year of my life a lot more productive and positive. i have had enough change in my life for the past two years to last me a decade. so now its time to dig in. (isn't that the same thought process that someone just getting out of college goes through? i'm a really late bloomer i guess.)

oh well for my birthday, i have no clue what i'm doing. there is no chairperson of the "billy is getting old" committee, so i'm sort of writing my own script.

ideally i want to go see the cardinals tomorrow at 12:15 pm and then return to columbia for the bald eagle show at mojo's. and then just take it easy. this will also be my first sober b-day in "well over" a decade... (twelve years)

other than that, i had my first post-foundry foundry show. i think it went rather well considering two practices and a different presentation of material. joe schaefer on drums and jenn johanning on cello were the perfect accompaniment for this style of presentation. they are both incredibly talented and above all nice! that is a dynamic that i will miss dearly with becky, daniel, and benjamin. those three are like family to me, and it is so hard to replace the chemistry we had. but i feel that they have also given me the template of requirements for people i work with in the future.